What a Beautiful Friday Morning!

And I just failed my driving test.

What amazed me more was I was actually able to laugh it off. Haha. True, my heart and pocket felt the pain of paying more for the next test (@#%#@%$&#^$%, #@$%#$,#@%#@%@#%@%, @#%#@$%#@%), but I'm generally feeling fine. In fact, I felt relief that everything is over, at least for now.

The first omen of doom came when I stalled my engine before I even started off on any station in the circuit. Oh well, that's another story for another time. Yet, I'm surprised I smiled when that happened. Might have pissed the tester off then. Maybe it was because I was amused by how it happened in the first place. Or maybe it was because I was able to accept the possibility of failure.

This was so unlike other tests I had taken before. PSLE, interview process for SMU, presentation for COMM101, etc. Recalled that I was usually very nervous, with my heart pumping so hard and fast that I could hear it above anything else. Yet for today, it was nothing like that. I smiled each time I committed a mistake, thinking that 'oh well, fail already, just as well.' I think that was what allowed me to perform better.

To clarify, it wasn't a bad driving experience. Lost some dumb marks which resulted in 8 more points than I could afford to give away. Again, it was another story. For now, it is about how I liked the way I proceeded with the test.

You have to enjoy the experience when you are doing something. No point worrying about my driving skills if it sucks to begin with. The additional worries will not help in improving all that in seconds. Just go in and do your best. If it is good enough, good. If not, well, just accept that consequence(i.e. the failure). I like this attitude. I supposed it is human, hence alright, to fail (well, also not all the times of course). In the past, I was nervous before as I felt the pressure to be perfect or to do well. For example, I had this notion to memorise my speech and be word-for-word perfect for a presentation. Now, just heck it and go with the flow. Have to trust that something good will come out eventually, as long as you have made your preparations. Accepting failure seems to help me free my minds off the contraints and pressures, allowing me to perform better. More importantly, it helps to remove that irritating sense of nervousness.

At least something good happened for me this week. Managed to secure my internship doing finance in a mnc's regional centre. The interview process was somehow similar to what I experienced for driving today. In any case, I shall finally get to throw away any other non-academic distractions and focus on martingales , black-scholes, income tax act, and Prime Taxi. Woohoo!